This, my dear friends, is life.

We gathered together in a mood of nervous excitement on the subconscious level. It was time for yet another "Gathering" (college age/young adult ministry), and we were so excited. Before the night began, we tied a black band around our arms which symbolized mourning. As we entered into a gymnasium with a lit path into a small room that had loud, distracting music playing, media blasting, images of natural disaster surrounding, a small path, among many other things, we realized that this wouldn't be like anything else we had experienced. At this point, I ran my fingers across this black band, and with a deep breath, realized we were living in brokenness, and my heart fell to the floor. We then ventured along another lit path to a small pond, surrounded by fire and lights. With the occasional roar of a car in the background, we reflected on what just happened. All these images we attempted to take in, then just left behind. What did we miss? There had to be more. W

I stare at the keys, trying to think of something profound as the red hot tears are streaming down my face. I glance over at my open bible, wondering why I can't find the answers. I ask of God once again, "Help me to understand why." I weep in the middle of my apartment floor as I read stories of survivors, see pictures of those that didn't survive, and then when I realize that I've seen the name of the shooter much more than the names of those that perished. Friends, I wish I had the answers. I've read every article out there about the profile of the shooter, I've tried to piece things together, I've watched the videos of the shooting starting over, and over, and over again. I've watched the videos of the frantic crowd trying to escape, but not being able to. Folks, I have sat in this sorrow all day, and have burrowed myself into the confusion. I've come to the conclusion, that we don't have a human conclusion with this scenario.