This, my dear friends, is life.

To the person that changed my life, For so long, I've contemplated writing you a letter. I've considered a few times visiting you while you were "away." Countless times though, I've questioned why. Why, if you supposedly "loved" your kids so much, would you ever, EVER, drive under the influence with them in the vehicle? WHY WHY WHY. In seventh grade, I made a new best friend by the name of Monica. She had this beautiful soul that was radiant with love. Man, she had a laugh that was like a welcome mat. Her smile could melt any heart. The teachers loved her. The students all knew they could count on her. Monica was just "that person" that was so loved and cherished. She was a pretty good athlete, excellent student, and she was just an all around amazing friend. I remember one time on the bus, an eighth grader was picking on a sixth grader, and she looked at the eighth grader, rolled her eyes, and said "Do you really have nothing better t

Go to church. Sing songs about how great God is. Clench your fists and grit your teeth to make it through the song, because it feels like a lie at that point in time. Smile. Make sure no one knows what you're feeling. Leave. Scream at God while in the car. Then repeat. Over. And over. And over again. If you know me,  but you don't REALLY know me, you're probably saying "Wow. This is rather sudden. Especially for a ministry major." Well, no. It's not. Let me just go ahead and clarify; Yes, I do love God. With everything. I desire to know Him more and more daily. However, that proved to kinda be a problem at one point when my faith was not at it's best spot, yet I was doing everything I possibly could to know Him on a deeper level and to know His children on a deeper level. I'll clarify on this part later. While I was never directly told "Don't be angry with God" (in fact, I am fairly certain I remember one of my pastors telling me to

"I love them, BUT they are really ____." How many times have you said that? I know I have said it more than I like to admit. Time and time again, I have asked God to just change a person. "God, it would be so much easier if they _____." God, COME ON! Just take away this part of their life, and add in all these good aspects. God, I wish my parents knew You and loved You so they could understand this whole ministry thing. Then, with the same breath, I would ask God to make my parents and I's relationship much better, to fix everything wrong with it. I couldn't figure out why things weren't happening, why things weren't adding up. Upon talking to a middle schooler about drama that she was in, I said the phrase "Love 'em anyways." And it was like someone put a brick wall in front of me, because I just stopped and thought to myself "Oh my gosh. That's what I need to do." So, as soon as I would begin complaining about my p