This, my dear friends, is life.

I walked in to summer, questioning as to whether or not I would return to MNU as a ministry major or change my major to psychology. I no longer felt any certainty that I was called to full time vocational ministry, and I feared so greatly the calling God had placed on my life to work with Anti-Human trafficking. Mainly though, I felt such a deep disconnect from our Creator and was no longer certain if I found my identity in Him or the calling on my life. I remember sitting in a posture of prayer back in the middle of May as the shock from my brothers accident was beginning to wear off, thinking "I'm so glad I could be here for that. But beyond that, my summer will just be work and I won't grow anywhere near as much as I was hoping this summer. God, would you just..do something? Use me? Teach me something? Just please, don't make these next 3 months wasted." I quickly learned that our God is a God of discomfort that calls us out deeper than our feet can reach, an

I guess writing a blog devoted to a former relationship is a little odd. Oh well. Recently, God has been going through a period where He will reveal things to me out of nowhere, and it's kind of an "aha!" moment that makes things make sense. One of the greatest things that has happened to me this summer has been the immense healing of my heart from a former relationship. I suppose starting at the beginning would be most appropriate, wouldn't it? For the sake of protecting his reputation, I am changing his name on here. We'll call him Caleb. Caleb and I FIRST met my seventh grade year. He was this handsome cowboy that was older than I, and my oh my did he grab my attention. I finally worked up the nerve to talk to him summer after seventh grade at our local historical celebration (good ol' days). My cousin was with me, and with her pep talk, I walked up to him and talked to him. Trying to play it cool yet look super attractive, because he was this handso