Ahh.
WARNING: Content may contain triggers (references to abuse, neglect, and addictions.)
You're two years old. Life is simple out on the farm. Life is good.
You're three years old. You have distinct memories of wanting to be something.
You're four years old, looking in the mirror. You know you are going to do something in life.
But then, something shifts.
You find yourself striving after what that four year old once saw in herself.
You grow up, trying to prove something.
You grow up, trying to gain what you didn't know, but desired.
The innate longing grew deeper.
The days grew longer.
You do more, searching for more, seeking what you had been taught to be truth.
This truth that would yield temporary satisfaction, and extensive pain.
And then you're ignored whenever you have nothing left to offer.
Thrown to the curb like an empty McDonald's bag.
So you grow up, viewing yourself as being just about as precious as an empty McDonald's bag.
Feeling like you have nothing left to offer, but doing everything.
Someone comes into your life that promises so much.
Everything's great.
You think that what you've been seeking is there, in this person.
The truth you've desired is in them, or at least, you hope.
This leads to emotional, mental, and the occasional physical abuse.
This leads to addictions.
These addictions lead to minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months that you have no clue how you'll survive.
You're 18 years old, looking in the mirror. You're stuck, looking in the mirror like "I can't believe what I've become."
What happened to that aspiring four year old?
That four year old that swore they were going to be someone?!
As you're stuck, looking in that mirror that seems to mock the nothingness that you are, you remember that day about three years before that.
That day whenever you had absolutely nothing to offer, you were a dirty sinner.
That day whenever you knew nothing else could possibly go wrong.
That day whenever you were hungover from the prior night.
That day whenever you said "I don't know who You are or what You are, but I need You."
That day whenever, for the first time since you were four years old, you felt an overwhelming peace on your heart.
Ahh. That day. That day was so sweet. But you think "No, I'm 18 now. I was 15 then. That can't happen again."
And then Your Heavenly Father makes His Divine Presence so known to you.
Ahh.
And then in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months to come, His promise holds fast.
The two of you together break addiction.
The two of you together walk through the valleys, praising all along the way.
The only question you ask is "How can I know You more?"
The fears your childhood had developed are worked through as trustworthy people come into your life.
You become a leader, first led by Christ.
You're 20. Twenty. You didn't think you'd ever make it through your teenage years.
You're 20, and a respected, trusted leader.
You're 20, and you look in the mirror, and finally know that you're not alone.
You're 20, and God's fingerprints are all over your life, as if your life were an empty canvas, just waiting for the greatest artist of all time.
Ahh.
What a sweet, beautiful life.
You're two years old. Life is simple out on the farm. Life is good.
You're three years old. You have distinct memories of wanting to be something.
You're four years old, looking in the mirror. You know you are going to do something in life.
But then, something shifts.
You find yourself striving after what that four year old once saw in herself.
You grow up, trying to prove something.
You grow up, trying to gain what you didn't know, but desired.
The innate longing grew deeper.
The days grew longer.
You do more, searching for more, seeking what you had been taught to be truth.
This truth that would yield temporary satisfaction, and extensive pain.
And then you're ignored whenever you have nothing left to offer.
Thrown to the curb like an empty McDonald's bag.
So you grow up, viewing yourself as being just about as precious as an empty McDonald's bag.
Feeling like you have nothing left to offer, but doing everything.
Someone comes into your life that promises so much.
Everything's great.
You think that what you've been seeking is there, in this person.
The truth you've desired is in them, or at least, you hope.
This leads to emotional, mental, and the occasional physical abuse.
This leads to addictions.
These addictions lead to minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months that you have no clue how you'll survive.
You're 18 years old, looking in the mirror. You're stuck, looking in the mirror like "I can't believe what I've become."
What happened to that aspiring four year old?
That four year old that swore they were going to be someone?!
As you're stuck, looking in that mirror that seems to mock the nothingness that you are, you remember that day about three years before that.
That day whenever you had absolutely nothing to offer, you were a dirty sinner.
That day whenever you knew nothing else could possibly go wrong.
That day whenever you were hungover from the prior night.
That day whenever you said "I don't know who You are or what You are, but I need You."
That day whenever, for the first time since you were four years old, you felt an overwhelming peace on your heart.
Ahh. That day. That day was so sweet. But you think "No, I'm 18 now. I was 15 then. That can't happen again."
And then Your Heavenly Father makes His Divine Presence so known to you.
Ahh.
And then in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months to come, His promise holds fast.
The two of you together break addiction.
The two of you together walk through the valleys, praising all along the way.
The only question you ask is "How can I know You more?"
The fears your childhood had developed are worked through as trustworthy people come into your life.
You become a leader, first led by Christ.
You're 20. Twenty. You didn't think you'd ever make it through your teenage years.
You're 20, and a respected, trusted leader.
You're 20, and you look in the mirror, and finally know that you're not alone.
You're 20, and God's fingerprints are all over your life, as if your life were an empty canvas, just waiting for the greatest artist of all time.
Ahh.
What a sweet, beautiful life.
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