Why are we searching?

I first found myself searching my pockets, under my pillow, in my car, in random crevices here and there. Then, I began searching in actual places such as in nature, at school, work, wherever. When results were less than revealing, I began searching through things such as soccer, academics, a job.

Still nothing.

"Countless efforts leading to temporary results that were less than fulfilling" could be a phrase to identify my life up until here recently.

Once I "found" church, I began searching through the youth group events, mission trips, retreats, church camp, you name it.

Nope. Still nothing.

When tragedy struck time and time again, the overwhelming question in my head was "Where are you now?" Beginning yet again the cycle of searching, wandering, hoping just for a moment that I would get a glimpse of this Divine Creature everyone kept referring to as "God".

I was done. A life of constant searching with no substantial, sustaining results led to burn out.

So I sat down in the place that I often would search out in Redfield, KS. I surrendered these moments of what I considered to be "hope" and found that what I considered as "hope" and what hope actually was was not of the same entity.

That was the first revelation.

Fast forward about a year to the end of my freshman year of college.

I knelt down at the alter alone early in the morning before class in Weatherby chapel as I had time and time again during that semester and said "I'm doing everything I can right now. What else do you want from me? I'm searching for You."..... And then it hit. It hit me harder than I had ever been hit in any sport. Harder than when I wrecked my car. It knocked the wind out of me much further than the multiple times I would be told of yet another friend that had died. It wrecked me further than when I found out that I struggled with addiction.

It hit me.

In my searching whether that be in physical places or searching through doing activities, more often than not, I would be turning my back on the very Divine Encounter I was searching for. God is not of this world. We can't "find" him.

All of a sudden, my motto became "I searched and searched, and was found by the Divine."

Every time I would drag myself through the crap of life, He was right there.
Every time I would get the phone call that yet another friend had died, He was right there as my legs would crumble beneath me.
Every time I would scream "I'm tired of this!" while sobbing, He was right there, embracing me.

Why are we searching? Surrender. Don't "do" to find. You'll only find burnout and disappointment. Just be, and allow yourself to be used, and see how much more you will do with the Almighty Creator working with you.

Be found by the Divine, right where you're at.