Real Talk.
So, if you know me, you'll know that I'm extremely passionate about a few things in life. Some of those things are happy things, some are not. Just like many young adults
, I am also passionate about some real injustice that happens. This particular topic is, in my opinion, an injustice.
Suicide. I can guarantee around 80% of my readers will exit out after that word, because we've heard it all, right?
Listen, I strive to be a genuine person 100% of the time, so can we just be real right now? This topic burns deep into my soul, on a nearly daily basis. If you know me AT ALL, you will know that I have been touched directly by suicide, on a few occasions. I will post those stories at the end of this post if you would like to read.
So, this post will be scattered, if you can't already tell. I can't fathom most of the emotions I face with this topic, but we'll give it a shot.
I'm angry when it comes to suicide.
I'm not angry at the person that ended their lives themselves… no, I'm angry at the people that make statements such as "they were so weak.", "That was such a selfish act.", "they literally had SUCH a strong support system. What was wrong with them."
>They were weak? Do you know how long they fought before they got to the point of which that they could literally see no way out?
>Selfish act? How selfish is it of you to want them to stay here when they're going through a living hell each and every day they wake up, otherwise known as depression?
>Strong support system? Yes, that may be true, but if you have ever battled depression, you know that the cliche phrase of "I feel alone in a room full of people" is so true. You feel like you don't fit in. You feel as if you have no purpose on this earth.
I'm upset when it comes to suicide.
Yet again, not upset with those that commit suicide, rather those people that are so insensitive. Last semester in my psychology class, my professor addressed the topic of suicide, at which point, a girl in the front row laughed. It took every ounce of self control I had to stay seated. Another point of which that I'm upset, why is it still taboo? Now, I'm not saying that we go around advertising that if you're feeling a little sad today, you should take your life, however if we put this topic in this box on the outside of society, then how does that help the people that are considering suicide? It doesn't. It only makes them feel as though they can't talk to anyone, more-so than they already do. That tells them "Hey, this topic is not one to be discussed. It's not normal. You're not normal for struggling." Gosh dang it, it's time that we stop putting up facades all the time, and confess that life isn't easy. We need to TALK about the hard topics. We need to face the realization that life isn't always peachy and talk about it!
I'm hurt when it comes to suicide.
I'm hurt by the fact that very few readers will read to this point. I'm hurt by the fact that all of us are broken, and we refuse to unite as one in our brokenness.
, I am also passionate about some real injustice that happens. This particular topic is, in my opinion, an injustice.
Suicide. I can guarantee around 80% of my readers will exit out after that word, because we've heard it all, right?
Listen, I strive to be a genuine person 100% of the time, so can we just be real right now? This topic burns deep into my soul, on a nearly daily basis. If you know me AT ALL, you will know that I have been touched directly by suicide, on a few occasions. I will post those stories at the end of this post if you would like to read.
So, this post will be scattered, if you can't already tell. I can't fathom most of the emotions I face with this topic, but we'll give it a shot.
I'm angry when it comes to suicide.
I'm not angry at the person that ended their lives themselves… no, I'm angry at the people that make statements such as "they were so weak.", "That was such a selfish act.", "they literally had SUCH a strong support system. What was wrong with them."
>They were weak? Do you know how long they fought before they got to the point of which that they could literally see no way out?
>Selfish act? How selfish is it of you to want them to stay here when they're going through a living hell each and every day they wake up, otherwise known as depression?
>Strong support system? Yes, that may be true, but if you have ever battled depression, you know that the cliche phrase of "I feel alone in a room full of people" is so true. You feel like you don't fit in. You feel as if you have no purpose on this earth.
I'm upset when it comes to suicide.
Yet again, not upset with those that commit suicide, rather those people that are so insensitive. Last semester in my psychology class, my professor addressed the topic of suicide, at which point, a girl in the front row laughed. It took every ounce of self control I had to stay seated. Another point of which that I'm upset, why is it still taboo? Now, I'm not saying that we go around advertising that if you're feeling a little sad today, you should take your life, however if we put this topic in this box on the outside of society, then how does that help the people that are considering suicide? It doesn't. It only makes them feel as though they can't talk to anyone, more-so than they already do. That tells them "Hey, this topic is not one to be discussed. It's not normal. You're not normal for struggling." Gosh dang it, it's time that we stop putting up facades all the time, and confess that life isn't easy. We need to TALK about the hard topics. We need to face the realization that life isn't always peachy and talk about it!
I'm hurt when it comes to suicide.
I'm hurt by the fact that very few readers will read to this point. I'm hurt by the fact that all of us are broken, and we refuse to unite as one in our brokenness.
My Experience With Suicide.
Where do I begin?
7th grade year, a time when suicide was still taboo to me, a really good friend of mine told me about this website of videos of people taking their lives. She then told me she constantly watched them, and was considering suicide. I made her promise me that she wouldn't, because I was so very ignorant on this topic that I didn't even know to reach out to an adult to get her help.
December 22nd, 2009, I shouted to my cousin Jacob as he was leaving my brothers wedding "Why ya leaving so soon?" He turned over his shoulder and said "Life awaits, Ashton." That would be the last time I would ever talk to him. Why didn't I notice that He was distinctly different than he normally was? I don't know. I'm human. March 21st, 2010, Jacob reached out for help to his friends mom, she did not help him, and he went home and told the world how he felt with the sound of a gat (gun) with his mom standing right outside the bathroom. His beautiful smile would be ruined. My world would be turned upside down by something I honestly knew nothing about. Emotions in the months to come were suppressed constantly, because I didn't know what else to do. The statements were made DIRECTLY to me about how weak and selfish he was. My cousin was not weak, and he was one of the most giving people I had ever known.
Freshman year of high school, I was staying at my dads apartment in Springfield, MO, (about two hours from Fort Scott), a friend from Fort Scott calls me and says "Ashton, this is the end. I wanted to call and tell you goodbye." He then cocked the gun, and I begin screaming. I begin screaming for all those that have silenced themselves. I begin screaming out of fear. I begin screaming because I knew that if I didn't, then I wouldn't have the chance to again. That night, I talked my best friend out of suicide.
Summer after freshman year, I was severely depressed and was not receiving any help other than a pastor, and tried to end my life by way of substance. That is one goal I'm grateful I did not achieve.
In loving memory of Jacob Ryan Welch. Forever I will fight for this injustice.
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