This, my dear friends, is life.

In response to last weeks sermon. Last week in youth group, I spoke about honoring your father and mother. Whenever I first agreed to speak upon such a topic, I figured it would be simple. Man, was I wrong. I do not feel I did this topic/commandment justice. I mean, what do you say to a group of teens whom of which (a good portion) have experienced their greatest heartbreak due to their parents? What do you say to a group of teens that know snippits of your story with your parents? What CAN you say to keep things in line, theologically? Ever since last Wednesday, my mind has completely just gone wild pondering this, I've watched my actions toward my own parents all the more carefully, and I've questioned why in the world did I preach on this topic. My 19 year old, barely a ministry major, just now honoring her parents ignorance restricted me from going too terribly deep into this topic. However, I feel as though some things were not said that should have been said. So, here ...

My desire and God's design didn't match. It was approximately late February/early March when my summer was completely flipped upside down. I was planning on working and living with a friend in the city for the month of June, I was to be in China in July teaching English, and then for the rest of the time working in the city. That was going to be my summer. If, for whatever reason, China didn't work out, I was going to be working at a camp in Colorado. Whatever was to happen, I knew that I didn't want to live in Fort Scott for the summer. I was so excited for it! Within about a weeks time, my heart was absolutely broken then I received some affirmation that I wasn't exactly thrilled about. Within a week, China trip was canceled, and my Mom called me and said that my brother would be starting his internship at Harley Davidson in May, and since he's the primary caretaker of Great Gram, they would be needing someone else and would only be comfortable with family ta...

So I had the opportunity to speak to the congregation. That’s right. Not just a youth group with 50ish people. I’m talking like a congregation that averages around 325 or so weekly. Being 19 years old and only just completing my first year at college, I found this task to be incredibly intimidating. My fears of pastoral inadequacy quickly set in and I was like “Oh no. This can’t happen.” Not only were those fears happening, but I had also just began a job in social work that week, and I quickly learned that social work is incredibly difficult and will test you in every which way you can imagine. After week one, I was ready to quit. It wasn’t necessarily that the job was all that terrible, I was just so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to invest in my clients the ways that they needed, and to be quite frank, I was exhausted. However, I knew that I was in that job for a reason, so I stayed.   I had two weeks to prepare this sermon, and for about a week and a half of that two w...

Before you read this, don’t read it lightly as if it’s some beautiful story of miracles. It is a story of miracles, but working towards those miracles was one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve ever endured. This post took me a total of four hours to type, because it was that difficult. Most of you know my brother was in a motorcycle accident. A few of you have assumed that since he is walking away with a few broken bones, that it wasn’t that terrible or serious of an accident. You assumed wrong. My brother was going somewhere between 60 and 70 MPH on a motorcycle when his highway peg clipped a four wheeler, sending my brother into a swivel, when he regained control, he was riding in a ditch. With a mailbox coming up, my brother decides to lay the bike on its side. After hitting the mailbox, he hits a culver and goes airborne with his bike. He lands. He does all this with no helmet on. Let me repeat, no helmet on. His friend runs over, my brother had swallowed his own tongue and...

To the person that changed my life, For so long, I've contemplated writing you a letter. I've considered a few times visiting you while you were "away." Countless times though, I've questioned why. Why, if you supposedly "loved" your kids so much, would you ever, EVER, drive under the influence with them in the vehicle? WHY WHY WHY. In seventh grade, I made a new best friend by the name of Monica. She had this beautiful soul that was radiant with love. Man, she had a laugh that was like a welcome mat. Her smile could melt any heart. The teachers loved her. The students all knew they could count on her. Monica was just "that person" that was so loved and cherished. She was a pretty good athlete, excellent student, and she was just an all around amazing friend. I remember one time on the bus, an eighth grader was picking on a sixth grader, and she looked at the eighth grader, rolled her eyes, and said "Do you really have nothing better t...

Go to church. Sing songs about how great God is. Clench your fists and grit your teeth to make it through the song, because it feels like a lie at that point in time. Smile. Make sure no one knows what you're feeling. Leave. Scream at God while in the car. Then repeat. Over. And over. And over again. If you know me,  but you don't REALLY know me, you're probably saying "Wow. This is rather sudden. Especially for a ministry major." Well, no. It's not. Let me just go ahead and clarify; Yes, I do love God. With everything. I desire to know Him more and more daily. However, that proved to kinda be a problem at one point when my faith was not at it's best spot, yet I was doing everything I possibly could to know Him on a deeper level and to know His children on a deeper level. I'll clarify on this part later. While I was never directly told "Don't be angry with God" (in fact, I am fairly certain I remember one of my pastors telling me to...

"I love them, BUT they are really ____." How many times have you said that? I know I have said it more than I like to admit. Time and time again, I have asked God to just change a person. "God, it would be so much easier if they _____." God, COME ON! Just take away this part of their life, and add in all these good aspects. God, I wish my parents knew You and loved You so they could understand this whole ministry thing. Then, with the same breath, I would ask God to make my parents and I's relationship much better, to fix everything wrong with it. I couldn't figure out why things weren't happening, why things weren't adding up. Upon talking to a middle schooler about drama that she was in, I said the phrase "Love 'em anyways." And it was like someone put a brick wall in front of me, because I just stopped and thought to myself "Oh my gosh. That's what I need to do." So, as soon as I would begin complaining about my p...